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Showing posts from November, 2013

Okay, I'll be thankful, part VI.

People like to post something they're thankful for every day during November. I've decided to jump in on the action by posting a few days at a time.

Things I'm Just Pleased as Punch About 
November 21: I'm thankful for snobbery and snootery. As long as its done in fun and not totally forrealz, it makes life, like, totes more enjoyable.

November 22: I'm thankful for Friday lunch dates with Patrick. Especially when they include pizza. I'm thankful for pizza.

November 23: For the first time in my life (and I am in my 30s) I am the owner of a smartphone. So I'm thankful for 2005--the year I'm now joining.

November 24: I'm thankful for Sundays. Church, family, brunch, friends.

November 25: I suppose I'm thankful for Mondays, since this week is a 2-day work week for me. Holla!

What are you thankful for?

Grain: the silent killer of my brain (and other fun rhymes).

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A new book out called "Grain Brain" says, basically, that carbs are rotting our brains.

I read an article about this book on my favorite British website, Daily Mail.  But, of course, any doctor who claims that even oatmeal -- OATMEAL --  is robbing me of my faculties would be from Florida. Naturally.

Perry is the center of the world and Florida is the hub of all weirdness.

I don't really buy the theory that having the occasional bowl of rice is going to send me into an early decline. However, if this turns out to be true, I'm in trouble.

This past weekend I traveled to the Orlando area to visit my college friend, R*, who I never talk to. Neither of us like to make phone calls. We facebook sometimes. And then once in a while we visit and have a blast and talk about the educational system and finances and how fantastic it is to put on PJs as soon as you get home from work. It works for us. Don't judge our relationship.

Another thing we do is eat. Brunch! Lunch! Snacks! …

Okay, I'll be thankful, part V.

People like to post something they're thankful for every day during November. I've decided to jump in on the action by posting a few days at a time.

Things I'm Just Pleased as Punch About 
November 17: I'm thankful for inter-office email. Because sometimes, it's just too much trouble to walk 20 paces to the office directly next to yours to have a conversation.

November 18: I'm thankful for my friends. They let me hold their kids, sit in their houses, eat their food, and they laugh at my stupid jokes.

November 19: I'm thankful for midwives, nurses, and doctors. Gotta be thankful for the people that will (all too soon) be helping me evict the kid squatting in my uterus (and not paying rent--rude!).

November 20: I'm thankful for PJs. Because they're comfy. Duh.

What are you thankful for?

Have you seen a gorilla make love, Bruno?

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One day last week, as I was leaving work, Bruno Mars' song "Gorilla" came on the radio. This song is super popular and catchy. And super raunchy. Talking about legs in the sky and making love like gorillas and stuff. So inapprop.

Before last week, I just thought of it as such--a raunchy, albeit catchy, song. Since two Saturdays ago, however, I can only think of one thing: actual gorillas doing it.

Everyone has told me lately to enjoy sleeping in while I can. So, naturally, I wake up before 7:00 on Saturdays--my one day to sleep in--so that Lizzie can have breakfast and the pleasure of my company. She insists, and I cave. (Perhaps I'll be a bad parent. "You want Oreos and Kool-Aid for breakfast? Okay. If you insist.")

Anyway. I'm going to tell you something I'm positive you don't need to be told at all. There isn't much to watch on the major networks at 7am on a Saturday. After flipping through the channels repeatedly that morning, I finally lan…

Okay, I'll be thankful, part IV.

People like to post something they're thankful for every day during November. I've decided to jump in on the action by posting a few days at a time.

Things I'm Just Pleased as Punch About 
November 13: I'm thankful for my stinky salads. They're delicious, packed full of good veggies and tasty bleu cheese, and guarantee that unwanted visitors won't stay in my office for too long. No one likes the office that smells like foot.

November 14: I'm thankful to live in the South, where I get to say "pleased as punch" and "yonder" and "I'm fixin' to" and "caddywompus." It's just more fun that way. 

November 15: I'm thankful for my church. Not only do I feel more connected to and informed about God than I have in years, but they serve wine at get-togethers and have group meetings at Momo's.

November 16: I'm thankful for navigation devices, so I was able to make it to my old pal Renee's place in Central…

Comment. You might like it.

UPDATED: to include Fun suggestions of things to say in the comments. I thought everyone would really struggle to know what to say, so I decided to help. You're welcome.

So, my 5 regulars, how are you?

Have you noticed that I've switched things up here? Visually it's much less "ducks flying over a lake you can't see and kind of Boring in the non-Fun way"-esqe and more "I'm so sophisticated with my cool color palate and I added a picture of me finally"-esqe.

The picture is of me frolicking in a California vineyard. It adds to the sophistication.

Another thing I've changed is that you no longer have to do the weird word verify thing when leaving a comment. You know the one. Where you try to figure out what crazy letter/number combo you're looking at, enter it, get it wrong, try again, get it wrong again, and then say, "Um, nm. I don't care about leaving a comment that much."

You also no longer have to wait for the moderator (moi)…

Life lessons from Lizzie.

It's been a little while since I've updated you on my precious feline child, Lizzie.

Nothing's new.

I mean, she's a cat. She doesn't get up to a whole heckuva lot.

However, with 6 years of parenting this weird, furry child, I have picked up on some pretty awesome life lessons from her. I think you could benefit from knowing these things, too.

How Life Should be Done, According to Lizzie
1) If you don't work out, be a work out coach. Lizzie knows my dedication to exercise isn't as consistent as it could be. When I manage to start squatting and lunging and planking, she makes it a point to walk right underneath me while I'm attempting these moves. It provides me with some much needed company--a swat at my ankles lets me know I'm loved. It's also extremely helpful in keeping me on my toes. It forces me to perform some spectacularly acrobatic moves to avoid stepping on her while she steadfastly refuses to move!

Put it into practice: It's a take on th…

Okay, I'll be thankful, part III.

People like to post something they're thankful for every day during November. I've decided to jump in on the action by posting a few days at a time.

Things I'm Just Pleased as Punch About 
November 9: I'm thankful for my car. Without it, I'd have to walk to work and get exercise daily whether I want it or not.

November 10: I'm thankful for brunch. It may be the best meal ever invented.

November 11: For our veterans. For all they've done for us. Thank you!

November 12: I'm thankful for Hulu. Without it, I'd have to miss mindless, pointless TV and do something productive instead.

What are you thankful for?

Okay, I'll be thankful, part II.

People like to post something they're thankful for every day during November. I've decided to jump in on the action by posting a few days at a time.

Things I'm Just Pleased as Punch About 
November 5: I'm thankful for my cat. She can be a tad annoying sometimes, and licks her butt in front of company, and meows incessantly until we give her breakfast. But I like her anyway.

November 6: I'm thankful for my family. They make me laugh and love me and stuff. (And I love them.) Also, they sometimes buy me lunch or ice cream.

November 7: I'm thankful for workout DVDs. Because I eat a lot of cake and pie for breakfast this time of year.

November 8: I'm thankful for elastic waist pants. Because I eat a lot of cake and pie for breakfast this time of year.

What are you thankful for?

Okay, I'll be thankful, part I.

People like to post something they're thankful for every day during November. I've decided to jump in on the action by posting a few days at a time.

Things I'm Just Really Pleased as Punch About 
November 1: I'm thankful that it's November. Because eating pie for breakfast is most acceptable during this month.

November 2: I'm thankful for Patrick, my sweetheart. Who else is going to sacrifice for our family by drinking beer while I can't?

November 3: I'm thankful for down comforters. Without them, I'd have to turn the heat on much sooner, and I'm cheap and like a low bill.

November 4: I'm thankful for old bananas. Because you can use them to make banana coffee cake. The name "coffee cake" tells you to have it with your coffee, which is done first thing in the morning. Which means I can have cake for breakfast, in addition to pie. And that's a big ol' WIN.

What are you thankful for?


Compliments only.

It really takes a mature person to handle constructive criticism. That's how I know I'm probably not quite grown up yet.

That's my way of prefacing the following statement: Please feel free to let me know what you think about my writing, as long as it's a compliment.

You see, I'm (sporadically) writing this blog for several reasons.
1) I figured I'd be at least as entertaining as some of the other junk I've seen out there.
2) It's a nice way to keep people vaguely aware of what the major haps are in my life.

But the main reason is,
3) APPROVAL!

In my most desperate voice I declare: I just want to be liked! I want people to think I'm funny! Oh heavens to Betsy and Mergatroid, please like me!

(I just collapsed on a fainting sofa for a moment until I could gather my wits and my strength. That's how passionate I am about being liked.)

So, if you don't think I'm funny, or a decent writer, I have a quick and easy suggestion: quit reading. But if you f…