Showing posts from June, 2015

High-fives available.

Do you feel down? Feel like you could use a little cheer? Would a high-five set your day on the right track?

If so, see me. I can introduce you to a 15-month-old gal who will gladly give you a high-five. Or two. Or ten.

Allow me to give you a tantalizing glimpse at the innumerable and inexhaustible amount of high-fives that I can put you in contact with:

Yesterday this tiny person with chunky thighs high-fived her mom, her dad, and the cat (who found it beneath her dignity to reciprocate). She high-fived a teacher in the hallway at school. Then she high-fived her own teacher. And her other teacher.

For the duration of the day, while she was not under her mother's eagle-eyed gaze, she probably high-fived all kids in her class and any and everyone she passed. But I'm just guessing. However, once she was back in parental custody, I have it on good authority that she high-fived her teachers again (to say goodbye), air-fived her classmates, high-fived her mom again (to say hello), the …

My online BFF.

Once upon a time, I decided that I would start far too many of my posts with the phrase, "Once upon a time."

Also, once upon a time, I told you about that hippie prenatal Pilates lady who totally kicked my butt. You remember: I was pregnant, decided to exercise, and nearly died. The end.

What I didn't tell you is that I eventually fell in love with her and have started a very serious relationship.

No, no, I don't mean that kind of relationship. I'm still super married to Patrick and totally digging it. The pigtailed Pilates lady and I are now virtual BFF's. Well, we would be if she knew me at all...

Perhaps I should explain. 

My first experience with this woman was during that killer jelly legs work out while pregnant. To just watch the DVD, you'd think, "How soothing and gentle and how not at all difficult this must be." And then you actually DO the DVD and you think, "Holy mother of biscuits, my legs have seized up!"

What I never told you …


The last time I wrote anything for you was a while back and I'm pretty sure I was whining about competitive crafting or something. (Okay, I just checked to see what I last posted and it was actually about something worthwhile! Kudos to me!) And then I just kind of fell off the radar again, because that's how I roll lately.

But why?

Though I don't feel an intense pressure to produce that wry, witty, and hilarious commentary you've come to expect from me*, I have occasionally thought I ought to probably write something. As in, "Hmm, it's been a month since I last wrote anything. Has anything funny happened in the last month? Umm... probably? What was it?... Uh, I'll just get back to the blog later..."

And then I forget about it for another few weeks.

"But Rebecca, you're writing right now! And you called it 'Confession'! So what are you going to confess? We're so happy to see a blog post up that you could have written about soap again a…