The last time I wrote anything for you was a while back and I'm pretty sure I was whining about competitive crafting or something. (Okay, I just checked to see what I last posted and it was actually about something worthwhile! Kudos to me!) And then I just kind of fell off the radar again, because that's how I roll lately.

But why?

Though I don't feel an intense pressure to produce that wry, witty, and hilarious commentary you've come to expect from me*, I have occasionally thought I ought to probably write something. As in, "Hmm, it's been a month since I last wrote anything. Has anything funny happened in the last month? Umm... probably? What was it?... Uh, I'll just get back to the blog later..."

And then I forget about it for another few weeks.

"But Rebecca, you're writing right now! And you called it 'Confession'! So what are you going to confess? We're so happy to see a blog post up that you could have written about soap again and we'd have read it*!"

Well, I was yet again wondering if there's anything I could write about. I was getting a big fat nothin'. Then, like a flash, the thought popped into my head: Wow, being a mom has made me boring. Not capital-B Boring, as in, Boring in that Fun kind of way. Just, ya know... boring.

And that's my confession. I feel a little bit boring since becoming a parent.

Allow me to clarify.

When I started this thing, it was because I thought, "I can be funny sometimes, and I'm not the worst writer in the word, so that basically means I can establish a blogging empire, gain legions of fans, and make all of my money while sitting on my couch."

Or something like that.

So I wrote about yogurt and "Putin" jokes and life was dandy.

Then I got pregnant, and I was so smug about it. "I will not be one of those people who forgets how to be funny about stuff and forgets how to talk about important things like yogurt and clothes just because I have a kid!"

And then I had a kid. And I had several months of adjusting to the seismic shift in my universe. Things leveled out and I returned to you, my dearest friends, to start writing again, but I kept hitting walls.

As it turns out, I severely underestimated how much of my brain-space a tiny little person could occupy. 

Basically here are my favorite things to think about since squeezing a person out of me.


  1. how cute she is
  2. how much I love her
  3. watching her sleep
  4. worrying about if she's too hot or too cold while she's sleeping
  5. can you believe she's turning into a little strawberry blond?
  6. that thing she did the other day that was so funny and cute
  7. how stinky that diaper was--hoo boy!
  8. that thing she did where she ended up making herself cry that was so ridiculous but funny
  9. how much I love her (yes, twice)
  10. can you believe she walks so well now?
  11. she does this one funny thing where she holds her hands like this and makes this face and... let me show you a picture
  12. let me take all the pictures.
  13. do you want to look at some pictures?
  14. oh wait, here's a video, too
  15. what she ate
  16. how many poops she took
  17. how long her nap was
  18. how much she ate for any given meal
  19. how chunky her legs are
  20. how cute her teeth are
  21. how many teeth does she have anyway?
  22. that time she bit me really, really hard when I was trying to see how many teeth she has
  23. look how cute she is when she drinks milk
  24. look how cute she is with pasta sauce all over her face
  25. look how cute her feet are
  26. she's trying to sing Old McDonald Had a Farm!
  27. I think she's a genius.
  28. Wow, look her throw that ball! She'll be a world class athlete one day.
  29. did I mention how much I love her?
  30. Oh, I don't want to forget to mention how much I love her.
and OTHER THINGS like...
  1. Marriage
  2. Work
  3. blah, blah blah
Alright, I'm not THAT horrible a spouse. I still love Patrick, like, BIG TIME. And Lizzie, and my family and friends. And I do actually think about stuff that isn't directly related to my favorite almost-15-month-old. But I think I did actually forget how to be funny about things. Or how to talk about stuff that doesn't magically circle back to my child.

So, I do NOT think being a mom is boring, but I DO think I could work a little harder on cultivating the rest of my brain--the space not occupied by how pretty her eyelashes are.

Oops! See how that just keeps happening?

The good news is that I'm going to TRY to kick it back up a bit--to write sometimes. About Sutton, yes, because, as you may have noticed from my list above, I'm 100,000% in love with her and kind of obsessed with her, too. (Because SHE'S A PERFECT ANGEL AND I CANNOT STAND HOW PERFECT AND ANGELIC SHE IS!) But about other stuff, too.

Like, for instance, I've been working out at least 4 times a week for the last two months. That's a BFD for me. (Stands for Big Fat Deal... in case my mama is reading. Hi, Mama.) And I'm actually really pumped about the workouts. 

Get it? Pumped? Working out? Pumping iron? 

Yeah, if you're lucky* you might get some really, really clever wordplay* like that, too.

Stay tuned to find out if I actually start writing more or if I end up posting once a year with an update about Sutton's potty training or something.

"Did I tell you how cute my kid is?" to you and yours,

*the "I'm lying" asterisks are still holding strong.


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