Showing posts from October, 2013

What I now know about having a bump.

Once upon a time, I ruminated on how awesome it would be to have a baby bump. Then I considered why it might not be quite so great having a baby bump.

Nearly halfway through a pregnancy, I can now speak to a few things that are great and not-so-great about it. Granted, I'm still not showing very much, but I'm sure the bigger my belly gets, the more I'll learn about the joys and miseries of hosting the cutest parasite I'll ever love.

Here's what I've learned so far.
On the positive side, I'm growing a human! Pretty mind-blowing when you really think about it. It's a blessing from God; all good things come from Him, after all.

On the flip side, I'm growing a human. Which means I'll have to give birth to a human.  (Not a pain-free experience, I hear. Thanks, Adam and Eve.) Then raise a human into a responsible, non-annoying person. No pressure.

But I feel great! I've had a very easy pregnancy so far!

Except when people pressure me to eat junk food, …

Pigtailed, pregnant pilates ladies don't play.

Not too long ago I proudly (smugly) declared that exercise had officially become a regular habit of mine.

Yeeeaaahhhh, funny thing about that. I don't know how it works for negative habits, but if you want to make sure to break a positive habit, brag about it.

"Hey guys, I can finally say that I'm a chain smoker!"
"Guess what! I now eat ONLY fast food!"
"I finally work out 4 days a week, every week!"

Guess which one of those three probably won't be a habit in 3 months.

But anyway, I haven't worked out regularly since maybe April. Or March. Or something. Oh, sure, sure. I'd get in a sporadic walk or workout here and there, but instead of 3-4 times a week, it was maybe 3-4 times a month (and that only if I was feeling particularly motivated).

And then I began hosting a little parasite I affectionately call Prune Candy (aka Baby Sheffy, aka "The Kid" aka "No, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl") and got insanely …

Don't steal my crown, Patrick.

The year before last I started Christmas shopping in August.

Last year I started in July.

This year, I looked at the calendar and realized, "ohemgee, it's nearly October and I haven't purchased the first Christmas gift yet!"

I don't know what my deal has been but I just haven't wanted to shop lately.

Since finding out I'm spawning, my interest in Marshall's has plummeted. And that makes me sad, 'cause me and Marshall's? We're like that. My interest in shopping altogether--pppbbbbtttt. Nuthin. Spending money on anything that isn't food or bills has become a struggle. And it makes no sense to me whatsoever.

What was worrying me more than my lack of desire to buy designer shoes at discount prices, though, was my lack of interest in really getting cranking on my Christmas shopping.

I love Christmas. Love. LOVE. Lurve. And I love getting a jump on the shopping so that I'm not scrambling around last minute like a chicken with its head cut off…