Selfies are, like, hard.

Following an most excellently hot and sweaty walk Saturday morning, I decided that I really needed to take a post-workout selfie. Because if you don't, did it even happen?

 No, it did not.

 Based on all the selfies I've seen, and I've seen far too many, I've learned that all the best selfies contain a few crucial elements:
  • hand on the hip
  • duck face OR "I'm so ridiculously happy" smile OR sassy face
  • downward angle, to aid in looking slimmer and/or showing some cleavage
 
There are also some fantastic optional elements that seem to bring some further life and interest to the picture:
  • bathroom locale
  • post-workout flushed cheeks
  • faux-self-deprecating caption OR blatantly bragging about yourself caption

I've also noticed that the most enjoyable selfies contain awkward items in the background, and those are often found in bathroom selfies. Putting all of those things together, my goal was simple. Extend arm upward, place hand on hip, find appropriately attractive angle, smile in just the right way, and make sure to do it in the bathroom while capturing awkward items in the background. Oh, and I need to add a perfect caption.

Behold, the glorious results of my efforts.

Gettin' my workout on. #helloprepregnancyclothes #workoutflow #nofilter #nomakeup

Please note the open toilet and the garbage full of baby diapers. Because I'm stupidly awkward and it took about a billion attempts to get this perfect shot, I somehow ended up giving a thumbs-up instead of doing a perfect hand on hip/skinny arm. I guess to show that I'm really proud of how sweaty and gross I am.

Upon finally getting a shot that I felt I should be appropriately embarrassed to share, I came out of the bathroom and told Patrick, "Selfies are so hard!" Because, like, they really are.

His response: "You were in there all that time taking a selfie? Why?"

When I told him, especially about the diapers and toilet in the background, he said, "Ew, gross, you're not going to share that are you?"

Of course I am. Humph, men.
 
Sweat and bathroom selfies to you and yours,
xo

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