I seen you write that wrong.

Grammar is defined, in part, as "the study of the classes of words, their inflections, and their functions and relations in the sentence," and "a system of rules that defines the grammatical structure of a language."

It's something we're all supposed to have learned in school as youngsters. It's integral to my job today. (This law contains compound sentences that aren't separated by commas! Ack!) And yet, it seems that I know some (otherwise lovely) people who apparently skipped any class related to language usage from, oh, grades 3-11.

Being from the South, I agree that there can be something charming about dropping your g's. Matter of fact, allow me to restate that sentence: Bein' from the South, I agree that there can be somethin' charmin' about droppin' your g's. (I hear that in my head as being spoken by Blanche Devereaux.) I have used, and will continue to use, the word "ain't". I sometimes "reckon" I can figure something out, and I'm "fixin'" to do all sorts of things.

But there are still some other things I just cannot understand. I'm really, truly, not sure how people managed to graduate high school saying, "I seen". Even worse, writing it.

Heavens, I'm getting lightheaded just thinking about it. Someone fetch my smelling salts! I'll be on the chaise lounge trying to recover myself! 

 
The spoken word requires much less thought than the written word. Why, words just pop out of our mouths, don't they? I hear myself occasionally and wonder if I just moved out of my shanty in the swamp to the big city. The twang, the expressions! But to sit down and put pen to paper fingertips to keyboard/swipepad, I've always found it much easier to use proper grammar, to recognize the mistakes I may make verbally, and not repeat them in such a format that people may go back and review my words at their leisure, long after they have been "said".

Allow me clarify, for those of you who may be reading this, who I love, but who are guilty of saying "I seen". It's "I have seen" ("I've seen" if you love your contractions) or, alternatively, "I saw." I won't explain the reason behind the rules. Just know: that's how it goes. If you want to have seen something you have to have the have.

"I've seen that preacher going into a package store a number of times. He must be one of those Catholics."
"I saw you the other day, leaving the restaurant, with someone who didn't appear to be your husband."

See the difference?

I don't wanna brag, buuuttt...

Now is the time for me to say that, yes, I still mess up. I'm sure a number of grammatical errors will go unnoticed by me in these posts, and you can sit back and think, "Not so smart now, are ya, missy?" The most egregious errors, though, I think I usually do a pretty good job of avoiding.



This is a topic about which I'm sure some of you good folks can chime in with your favorite pet peeves. So please, feel free! I ain't gonna tell no one it was you that said it.