Go plank yourself, Jackie Warner.

How I feel about exercise.

I quit.

I try to work out regularly. I have been "trying to work out regularly" for about 5 years now. Actually working out regularly is something I've not yet been able to achieve.

Part of the reason is this: working out SUCKS. It's hard, y'all. I know there are those of you who enjoy the actual exercise, not just "the feeling of accomplishment when you're done." I do not understand you.

The other part of the reason is that I really ought to get up at 5:30 in the morning to have time to workout, eat breakfast, shower, fix my lunch for the day, and get out of the door and to work on time. ("On time" is "5-7 minutes after I should have been here.) I'm not sure if you know this, but 5:30a.m. sucks as much as working out sucks. Sooo, that's kind of working against me.

You are probably saying to your monitor, "Why don't you just work out after work, dummy?" I used to, but I don't now for two main reasons.

  • I do not live alone. I don't work out in a gym, but at home with DVDs. When I lived by myself, I would come home from work, go for a walk, then pop in a DVD and squat and plank all over the living room. Now, there's nothing less appealing than coming home, changing into my clothes, and doing squat kicks while Patrick is getting into his comfy clothes and having a beer. (Get a gym membership, then? Hahaha! Good one. Tried it. Wasted lots of money. Moving on.) I put it to you another way. Would you rather: sit and relax with your best buddy, or do jumping lunges? I rest my case.

  • By 5:30 in the evening, I've had HOURS to come up with reasons (better known as excuses) I can't work out. At least at 5:30 in the morning, I just have to get my sorry butt out of bed and get on with it. I'm too tired to think of many good excuses. (Confession: I have many times gotten up at 5:30, eaten a little something--can't work out on an empty stomach--and then gone back to sleep on the couch until nearly 7:00 when Lizzie wakes me back up for her breakfast. Ridiculousness.)

There's really no resolution here. I just wanted to share that if working out is a necessary evil, I should be a saint, because I'm very good at avoiding this particular evil. Call me Saint Rebecca, the Patron Saint of Avoiding Physical Exertion.

If anyone has any clever tips about how to keep myself motivated and on track, I'd appreciate it. But don't expect me to jump up and get to work. As I type, it's a Monday morning--day 3 of a nine-day weekend!, I'm at home in my robe with a cat sitting across my arms while I try to finish this post. (Maybe she's trying to help me out with a little resistance training?) And I'm still waking up. I haven't finished my coffee, but when I do, I'll need to give it time to settle. Oh, and then I have a few errands I really need to get done... Well, I'll get to those tips just as soon as I can.

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