Punkin Joes.
In honor of October and pumpkin-flavored everything, I share this tale of a failed culinary experiment.
I used to follow a blog dedicated to inexpensive, tasty, healthy meals. A guest post by a registered dietician featured several recipes with "surprising healthy ingredients." One in particular intrigued me. The ingredient cost was low, it was a dish of which I am very fond, and this was supposed to be a healthier version. Why not, right?
The recipe was for a healthy version of sloppy joes. (Sing with me! Sloppy joe, slop-sloppy joe!) Who of us meat-eaters doesn't love a good sloppy joe?
This recipe, being healthier, called for ground turkey instead of beef, and had the usual ketchup (I always used tomato sauce, but found a lot of recipes call for ketchup), onion and chili powder type ingredients. The secret ingredient was a 15-oz. can of pumpkin. Weird, right? That was my first thought. I decided to make it anyway, just to see how it turned out.
Oh, it turned out alright. It was nothing like any sloppy joes I'd ever had. The predominant flavor was undeniably pumpkin--the healthy ingredient I wasn't supposed to be able to taste, the powerhouse of nutrition that was supposed to be hiding in the background. Pumpkin, I learned, doesn't really pair with ketchup, chili powder, and onions as, say, a splash (or glass) of chardonnay does with shellfish. Don't believe me? Try dumping a can of pumpkin on your plate, squirt a dribble of ketchup on it, and a sprinkle of chili powder. Top with cooked onions. You let me know what you think.
Determined to save this fiasco, I added more ketchup, more chili powder, some garlic, and then more ketchup. The results were a huge improvement. I now had food that was barely tolerable.
A fun little thing to note about me is that I really hate to throw away food. If there are 3 bites of something leftover after dinner, I want to put them in a tiny container and save them for later. Sometimes "later" is when we discover the aforementioned tiny container hiding in the back of the fridge with the food covered in ice crystals and mold. THEN you throw it away. It's okay to throw away something moldy, but it is NOT okay to throw away perfectly good food!
Nor may you toss reasonably edible (in that it won't make you sick) but completely awful food. At least, that's what I must have thought.
Patrick still loves to laugh at me several years after the Punkin Joes Debacle (as it is now called--we don't give it the dignity of using the proper word, "pumpkin") because as bad as it was, I ate that unholy massacre of pumpkin, ketchup, and turkey as leftovers for lunch not just once, but twice. I actually tried for three, but I think it was past its prime by that point, because I really began to feel unwell halfway through eating it. That was when I finally gave it the old heave-ho.
I tried, guys. And failed. Miserably.
A few weeks ago I found, buried in our junk drawer, the piece of paper on which I'd written the recipe. I showed it to Patrick, and after laughing at me about it (again) he told me to throw it away. I didn't.
I still don't like to throw away food, and I'm happy to say I haven't cooked anything as disgusting as the Punkin Joes since then (or before), but the Punkin Joes Debacle did kill that urge I have to hang on to food that I know deep-down I just won't eat. So, it wasn't all for naught. I think of it as a lesson learned, and that recipe is my reminder of that lesson.
And the lesson for you all is: don't put 15 ounces of pumpkin in your sloppy joes. Just don't do it.
P.S.--If you have any horror stories, feel free to share in the comments!
P.P.S.--I just found the article on the blog where I got the recipe. The woman called them "Sloppy Jacks" which should have been my first clue to never, ever, ever try them.
P.P.P.S.--'Tis only natural that you should be rewarded with a song after reading about my Punkin Joes. Enjoy!
I used to follow a blog dedicated to inexpensive, tasty, healthy meals. A guest post by a registered dietician featured several recipes with "surprising healthy ingredients." One in particular intrigued me. The ingredient cost was low, it was a dish of which I am very fond, and this was supposed to be a healthier version. Why not, right?
This recipe, being healthier, called for ground turkey instead of beef, and had the usual ketchup (I always used tomato sauce, but found a lot of recipes call for ketchup), onion and chili powder type ingredients. The secret ingredient was a 15-oz. can of pumpkin. Weird, right? That was my first thought. I decided to make it anyway, just to see how it turned out.
Oh, it turned out alright. It was nothing like any sloppy joes I'd ever had. The predominant flavor was undeniably pumpkin--the healthy ingredient I wasn't supposed to be able to taste, the powerhouse of nutrition that was supposed to be hiding in the background. Pumpkin, I learned, doesn't really pair with ketchup, chili powder, and onions as, say, a splash (or glass) of chardonnay does with shellfish. Don't believe me? Try dumping a can of pumpkin on your plate, squirt a dribble of ketchup on it, and a sprinkle of chili powder. Top with cooked onions. You let me know what you think.
Determined to save this fiasco, I added more ketchup, more chili powder, some garlic, and then more ketchup. The results were a huge improvement. I now had food that was barely tolerable.
A fun little thing to note about me is that I really hate to throw away food. If there are 3 bites of something leftover after dinner, I want to put them in a tiny container and save them for later. Sometimes "later" is when we discover the aforementioned tiny container hiding in the back of the fridge with the food covered in ice crystals and mold. THEN you throw it away. It's okay to throw away something moldy, but it is NOT okay to throw away perfectly good food!
Nor may you toss reasonably edible (in that it won't make you sick) but completely awful food. At least, that's what I must have thought.
Patrick still loves to laugh at me several years after the Punkin Joes Debacle (as it is now called--we don't give it the dignity of using the proper word, "pumpkin") because as bad as it was, I ate that unholy massacre of pumpkin, ketchup, and turkey as leftovers for lunch not just once, but twice. I actually tried for three, but I think it was past its prime by that point, because I really began to feel unwell halfway through eating it. That was when I finally gave it the old heave-ho.
I tried, guys. And failed. Miserably.
A few weeks ago I found, buried in our junk drawer, the piece of paper on which I'd written the recipe. I showed it to Patrick, and after laughing at me about it (again) he told me to throw it away. I didn't.
I still don't like to throw away food, and I'm happy to say I haven't cooked anything as disgusting as the Punkin Joes since then (or before), but the Punkin Joes Debacle did kill that urge I have to hang on to food that I know deep-down I just won't eat. So, it wasn't all for naught. I think of it as a lesson learned, and that recipe is my reminder of that lesson.
And the lesson for you all is: don't put 15 ounces of pumpkin in your sloppy joes. Just don't do it.
P.S.--If you have any horror stories, feel free to share in the comments!
P.P.S.--I just found the article on the blog where I got the recipe. The woman called them "Sloppy Jacks" which should have been my first clue to never, ever, ever try them.
P.P.P.S.--'Tis only natural that you should be rewarded with a song after reading about my Punkin Joes. Enjoy!
I had a friend who mixed Manwich and Spaghetti sauce and served it over spaghetti noodles... A terrible concoction. I still can't figure out why you would mix the two.
ReplyDeleteI'm usually up for pumpkin anything, but I'll heed your advice and stay away from this recipe!
Maybe that was her attempt at Cincinnati chili? Strange!
ReplyDeleteI heard the other day that Honey Boo Boo's family recipe for 'sketti (yes, 'sketti) is just a mix of pasta, ketchup and butter. Maybe they should add some punkin. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI ate something called 'Sketti Rice (it was like Spanish Rice/Dirty Rice) at the day care I went to as a kid. I think Punkin 'Sketti might be the next big thing. We'll ask Honey Boo Boo for her input. :)
ReplyDelete