Boring Can Be Fun

If the last day of the year isn't an appropriate time to look back over the year, then I don't know when is. Since you're just itching to know what my year looked like in a nutshell, I graciously decided to jot a few notes down for you. Consider it my (really lame) gift to you. Celebrated 1 year of marriage in January. (Un)Officially became marriage experts and decided we'll never encounter any difficulties after a solid year of marriage under the belt to prove that we definitely have it all figured out. Lost a family friend and a cousin. Took a trip cross-country to California in April. Sipped wine. Dipped my toes in the Pacific Ocean. Quickly removed toes from the Pacific Ocean. (That sucka is C-O-L-D.) Climbed mountains. Made friends with a local deer and a goat. Ate lots. Laughed lots. Babies were born, including my precious little Goddaughter, who likes me better than Uncle Patrick. Sometimes. My nephew turned 3 in May and my niece turned 8 in December! (Q...

I received calls. Texts. Emails. Handwritten letters and postcards. They all said the same thing: It's been more than a week! Where are you? At least, I'm sure that's what they would have said had you all not been too busy with the holidays to notice or care that I haven't posted in over a week. So! How was your holiday? I hope it was merry and bright. But even if it wasn't, I hope you're doing great today, on this sixth day of Christmas That's right. It's still Christmas. And it will be until January 6th. My true love did not get me six geese a-layin', but geese scare me so it was a pretty smart move on his part. Here's a brief description of what my Christmas Eve and Christmas Day looked like: Driving. Eating. Gifts. Driving back to Tallahassee. Enter church on Christmas Eve; leave on Christmas morning. Sleepiness. Christmas morning! Gifts. Eat. More driving. Eat again. More neat gifts. Eat again. Even more nea...

How have things been the first chunk of my pregnancy?  Oh, just fine! No morning sickness. No nausea. Generally feeling great. Eventually something's going to happen, right? Well my "thing" is clearly the gestational diabetes. But not even really that. It's the FIVE HUNDRED MILLION THOUSAND DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS. Here's a letter I received (not really, just play along): Hey Becs, you gots ya some 'betis! So much for a smooth-sailing pregnancy! So here's what I'm going to need you to do. 1. Go to a meeting that lasts 3 hours to learn how Crystal Light is okay to drink, and Equal is fine, but stevia is not. And no one mentions how fiber in certain foods affects the body's absorption of carbs. "A carb is a carb." Then learn about how you get to prick your finger 4 fun-filled times a day to check your blood sugar. (See Wilford? I told you I would check my blood sugar, and check it often.) You're going to write down each bl...

I've been joking about it since last week. But, I mean, we joke about things we never really expect (or dare believe!) will happen to us, right? Like, "If I win a car..." or "When I win the lottery..." or "Since I probably have gestational diabetes..." I mean, who HASN'T joked about all three of those things at one time or another, amiright? Consider us monumentally lucky, because two of those things have happened to this little Sheffield family. Patrick did indeed win a Jeep about 2 years ago. But which of the other two might it be?  Am I kickin' it sugar-free... ...or rolling in that acre peas kinda money? Well, Wilford Brimley, I'm going to follow your advice. I'm going to check my blood sugar, and check it often. I have gestational di-uh-bee-tus. Are you sooooo jealous? You should be. After all, it was my "beetus" that allowed me the opportunity to take the second glucose tolerance test. And can I just s...

Am I already a bad mom? I mean, we know I am since I failed my very first ever test as a mom: the glucose tolerance test. But I'm talking about the fact that I think my child will, when it's old enough, have to be deprived of the Great Smiling Stalker of the North, Elf of the Shelf.  image from amazon.com. Look at him there, sitting on some invisible shelf. He's trying to be all, "Hey guys, I'm just shyly looking off to to the side! 'Cause I'm so shy! Tee-hee!" And you're probably thinking, "Aw, hey there little buddy. What's your name? You look so sweet..." WRONG WRONG WRONG   Do you understand what this little guy does? Who he is? Or rather, who he claims to be?   The basic story, as told to the unthinking sheep of society, is this: A family adopts a little elf and gives him or her a name. When they do, it gets magic that lets him or her fly to the North Pole from your house every night to let Santa know if you...

You saw my rendition of my dream house last week and thought several things: Wow! She's a true artist! Why is her house wearing a hat? How much time did she spend on that? Gosh, I happen to know how she can get that house she was asking for. My responses are: Yeah, I am. Thanks. Hats make things more fancy. I want my house to feel fancy and pretty. Too much. Do tell! In case you didn't have the pleasure of viewing my masterpiece, here ya go. Fancy house with a fancy hat thingy. The short story is, I want a house so badly I can taste it. We like our apartment, but I'd love to able to have a yard, a porch, a little privacy. Another closet. A kitchen with more than 2 feet of functional counter space. When I look around at people who are my age or younger who purchase or build houses, I genuinely want to know: how in the world do you do it? I fancy myself quite the little savings ninja. We put money aside every month (and are blessed to be able to do s...

Does anyone have a house they want to sell us using the honor system and with no down payment? I'd love the opportunity to take advantage of your kindness. In return, I promise that: our payments will be timely and in full we'll cook you at least 2 meals over the lifetime of our debt owed to you those meals will be somewhere in the taste range of mediocre to fairly good So, a nyone?... Anyone?... Fine, I'll stick to drawing my dream house. It looks a little like this: Okay, maybe not exactly like that. But if you would have sold me that house like I asked, you wouldn't have had to look at this picture, would you? So whose fault is that? Yours. xo

Before reading this post, here's a little hint as to what it's about: Several weeks ago at my ol' lady doctor office, I had the following conversation. This is exactly how it went.* Them: When you hit 26 weeks, you need to go take a glucose tolerance test to test for gestational diabetes. Me: Fun! Can I do it right now?!! Them: No, Rebecca, you have to wait until 26 weeks. It's very important for some reason. Also, you can't eat anything at all or drink anything but water after midnight before your test. Me: I LOVE fasting! I guess I should wait until 26 weeks, but it sounds so fun and amazing! Them: It really is. You'll love it. But you have to wait. We don't know why. Just trust us.   So I waited and on Monday I drove my happy, hungry little self down to the diagnostics lab to drink some stuff, wait an hour, and have some blood sucked out of me. It was pretty much as much fun as I'd hoped. They even played classic rock in the waiting roo...

People like to post something they're thankful for every day during November. I've decided to jump in on the action by posting a few days at a time. Things I'm Just Pleased as Punch About  November 26: I'm thankful for the upcoming days off work. (Do I even need to explain that one?) November 27: I'm thankful for my mother-in-law. Happy birthday! Sorry your birthday is the day before Thanksgiving. November 28: I'm thankful it's Thanksgiving! And for pie! And sides! And food comas! And leftover Turkey sandwiches! And "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving"! November 29: I'm thankful for my good friend Lynn. Happy birthday! Sorry your birthday is the day after Thanksgiving. November 30: I'm thankful that as we enter December, we start the season of Advent, which of course, means CHRISTMAS IS NEARLY HERE!!!! (I like Christmas. And my Advent candy calendar.) What are you thankful for?