Cash diet.

Ode to the grocery store

 

Your wide, clean aisles,

Your smooth, shiny tile,

They seduce me.

 

The wonky cart--how delightful it is!,

announcing my arrival throughout the store.

Am I your favorite customer?

 

Grocery store, I adore you.

 

I wander the aisles, throwing in

store brand mac and cheese,

brand name coffee,

overpriced face wash.

 

You make me happy.

Uh-huh. Bet you all didn't know I'm a poet, didjya?

Oh, you weren't thinking that you just read one of the greatest works of all time? 

Or even one of the greatest works that may have been created this week?

Ouch. Well, I suppose you're right. It's pretty obvious that I'm not a poet. Nevertheless, I think I was still able to convey, in my own way, that I love grocery stores. Yes, it's true, I thoroughly enjoy grocery shopping.

In college, I didn't buy a lot of clothes or go out much at all. (I was a bit of a sad pathetic Boring [but fun?] little thing. I spent my 21st birthday in class all morning then working until 11:00 at night. The end.) I spent my money on: bills, gas for the car, maybe I'd save a buck or two, and then blow the rest of my paycheck at Publix. Since I worked at Publix as a cashier, it felt like I basically gave them my money back in return for groceries and overpriced shampoos and face washes.

That was back when I was young. Single. Carefree (a synonym for naive). Now I'm on the sadder side of 29 (no tears for me! be strong!), married, working full-time--that whole racket. My love of the grocery store is still as ardent and strong as ever.

In life, people change. Relationships change. And so, too, must change the amount of money I blindly spend on produce and dairy. Lately, Patrick and I have noticed our spending was getting a little ridiculous. We value buying natural and organic animal products (meat, eggs, dairy) as much as possible, and organic produce when we can. But we were using those high and mighty values, along with my desire to emulate Ina Garten's vow to stay away from anything that isn't "good", to blow ungodly amounts of money to feed ourselves (plus Lizzie, of course).



If they don't feed me, there are punishments. Severe punishments.

So, to reign it in, the CFO of our family (me) put us on a cash diet for groceries. I set a stricter budget than we had been allowing ourselves, and decided, since we shop each weekend, to withdraw a set amount of cash for the week. When it's gone, it's gone.

And what do you know? We have, without too much trouble at all, slashed at least $150 from our monthly grocery spending.

Do you know what you can do with 150 dollars? Like, lots. What are we doing with 150 dollars? Squirreling it away like greedy little moneygrubbers. We put it in savings, and with red gleams in our eyes, we rub our hands together and laugh maniacally as we watch our savings account grow.

GROW, MONEY! GROW! MUWAHAHAHAHA!

Well, it's not really growing at 0.5% interest. Just accumulating. So...

ACCUMULATE, MONEY! ACCUMULATE! MUWAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, okay, this might be exaggerating things a bit. The point is that it's amazing how prone we are to impulse purchases when we're swiping a card and justifying it because it's the "good, REALLY dark chocolate, but I haven't tried this flavor."

We've been on our cash diet for groceries for just over a month now and at this point, I see no reason to go back to swiping my card (which I have always paid off in full each month, should you be wondering). My flaming passion for the grocery store must be tempered with the cold water of the reality that is knowing that money might be made of paper, but it doesn't grow on trees. And anyway, we probably don't need to get that neat smelling soap just because it's made with sustainably harvested hemp seed oil (or something).

But don't give up on me, grocery store! I'll still come to see you every weekend!
xoxo
Rebecca