Diversionary tactics.
Happy Monday! Now, let's talk about Friday.
When my office instituted a "jeans Friday"--the one day of the week denim is now acceptable--I jumped on board wholeheartedly.
I'm not sure why it's so exciting to wear jeans to work. My jeans are no more comfortable than my slacks. Perhaps less so. But something about wearing jeans makes you think you are more comfortable than you really are, so I do it because I value thinking I'm comfortable above all else.
This past Friday as I sat at my desk working furiously, efficiently, and without wasting any time (maaayyyyybe), I noticed a white spot on my otherwise dark denim. Ahh... spit up. I forgot to check for that when I pulled these jeans from the bottom of my dirty clothes hamper to put them on that morning.
Fancy girl, right here!
Well, if you're going to wear dirty spit up jeans to work, you might as well work it, right? I had my cute sweater with the cute scarf and the cute flats to go with my cute, dirty, slightly-too-snug, spit up jeans.
The only thing I was missing, obviously, was that final touch to help distract from my spit up stain. I know! How about I eat roughly 2 cups of that South West Salsa I made the other night. It's chock full o' goodness: corn, bell pepper, tomato, avocado and some hot-breath-inducing raw red onion!
Nothing says, "Don't look at the jeans I wore sometime last week or the spit up stain on them" like some blindingly awful, hot onion breath.
Basically, as people approached, I would surreptitiously let out a stream of breath like a sneaky fire-breathing dragon. Before they had a chance to look down and see that stain--BOOM! Blinded by onions!
Next time you wear some clothes straight out of the hamper, I suggest a similar diversionary tactic. Coffee breath? Sure. Garlic? That works. Maybe just don't brush your teeth that day, but then again, that's not hygienic--unlike wearing old dirty pants. That's fine.
When my office instituted a "jeans Friday"--the one day of the week denim is now acceptable--I jumped on board wholeheartedly.
I'm not sure why it's so exciting to wear jeans to work. My jeans are no more comfortable than my slacks. Perhaps less so. But something about wearing jeans makes you think you are more comfortable than you really are, so I do it because I value thinking I'm comfortable above all else.
This past Friday as I sat at my desk working furiously, efficiently, and without wasting any time (maaayyyyybe), I noticed a white spot on my otherwise dark denim. Ahh... spit up. I forgot to check for that when I pulled these jeans from the bottom of my dirty clothes hamper to put them on that morning.
Fancy girl, right here!
Well, if you're going to wear dirty spit up jeans to work, you might as well work it, right? I had my cute sweater with the cute scarf and the cute flats to go with my cute, dirty, slightly-too-snug, spit up jeans.
Side note: I've never craved muffins less than I have since I "got back into my old clothes"... oh, but just barely. (Yep, another muffin top reference.)
The only thing I was missing, obviously, was that final touch to help distract from my spit up stain. I know! How about I eat roughly 2 cups of that South West Salsa I made the other night. It's chock full o' goodness: corn, bell pepper, tomato, avocado and some hot-breath-inducing raw red onion!
Nothing says, "Don't look at the jeans I wore sometime last week or the spit up stain on them" like some blindingly awful, hot onion breath.
Basically, as people approached, I would surreptitiously let out a stream of breath like a sneaky fire-breathing dragon. Before they had a chance to look down and see that stain--BOOM! Blinded by onions!
Next time you wear some clothes straight out of the hamper, I suggest a similar diversionary tactic. Coffee breath? Sure. Garlic? That works. Maybe just don't brush your teeth that day, but then again, that's not hygienic--unlike wearing old dirty pants. That's fine.
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