Resolutions? Maybe next year.

'Tis the new year and 'tis the time for making resolutions.

'Tis also about 1 month from now when most resolutions will be broken, so I advise setting the bar low.

(That's the kind of go-get-'em attitude that has made me a success.)

Back when I was in my early or mid twenties, I ohsocleverly made the resolution not to make any more resolutions. I haven't broken it yet. The trick is to know yourself. Me? I'm lazy and don't like sticking to stuff, so it's been an amazingly easy resolution for me to keep.

And yet, due to massive peer pressure and media influence, I feel myself pulled at this time of year to think about things I'd like to do better in the next year. Often, some of those things are fitness related. I'm pretty sure a lot of you can relate to that, since Special K and all the gyms start really ramping up their ads, and about a hundred million articles for a "New Year, New You!" start appearing.

For me, there are usually a few flaws in thinking ahead to bikini season in January.

1. I rarely am in a bathing suit.

Actually, that's pretty much it. During the summer, I rarely spend time at the beach or pool. When I do, I tend to take the attitude that no one is studying me as much as I've studied myself in the mirror, so people probably don't care about my tummy pooch or whatever. (I mean, I don't care about your tummy pooch.)

Nevertheless, that hasn't stopped me from thinking about summer sometime in January nearly every January for the last several years. This year is no exception. I feel like I need to take up my workouts a notch. Go on a brief sugar-fast to kick the sugar cravings I've developed over the holidays.

Hmm... but I have the feeling that there's something I'm missing... something obvious that will thwart my grand plans...

I sit back, rest my hands on my big, mysteriously squirming tummy and twiddle my thumbs...

Oh. That's right. Big belly. Baby. Knocked up.

Well darned if that don't just throw a monkey-wrench in all my grand plans for flat abs and a toned tushie by June. How am I supposed to get lean thighs if I'm too exhausted to perform a squat? How will I get flat abs if my abs have separated? How am I supposed to get defined arms if I'm too busy holding a baby... Oh wait, I'm told that holding a baby is great for your arms. "Mom arms," I think they're called.

Gosh, I guess that means I'm just going to have to keep taking it nice and easy this year. Darn it all. Darn it all to heck.

It looks like 2014 will be the year of the tank top and spanx for me. Cheers to 2015 and getting in shape then!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Now that's my mama's style.

Love and marriage.

Have you seen a gorilla make love, Bruno?