Mommy Test #4: Underfunctioning brain.

At about 8.5 months pregnant, I think I can finally say that the legendary "mommy brain" has set in.

"Mommy brain" is what they call it when you lose your ever-living mind and cannot function as a normal, intelligent adult anymore. They blame it on hormones, or on having a mind that races all the time thinking about all the crap you still have to do before you're responsible for keeping a human alive and safe, or something.

I've created a diagram for you to highlight the differences between a normal, everyday brain and a brain wracked with baby hormones/racing mind/"or something".



These are scientific facts.


Whatever the cause, I've gotten word from good authorities (moms with young kids) that "mom brain" doesn't go away at birth. Because then there's exhaustion and a seismic shift in your life and stuff like that taking away your brain power.

And based on my most recent feats of intellectual inferiority, and the rumor that this condition is here to stay for quite a while, I fear that once the kid is here, people should check in on me. And it. All of us.

Why?

Because these are things I've done (or at least started to do before catching myself) in recent weeks:

  • Put hand soap instead of toothpaste on toothbrush.
  • Put cat food back in the refrigerator where it obviously belongs.
  • Get into my car by using my work ID badge instead of car keys.
  • Forget, um... what do you call 'em? Oh yeah--forget words.
  • Forget my own phone number.
  • Put hand soap instead of toothpaste on toothbrush. (I've tried that several times.)
  • Spend several moments trying to remember what I'm looking for in the pantry or fridge. (Obvious answer: food of some kind... but... um... there was something I was doing in here...)

Okay, so that's not a lot. But the truth is, I can't recall all of things I've done lately that have made me pause and say, "No... I don't think that's the thing to do here." But I feel pretty confident that there have been many of them.

Have any of you ever experienced this? I can safely admit that the last one, staring blankly into the refrigerator, is not a new experience, but it seems to happen a whole heckuva lot more now than it ever has. I blame that on being hungry ALWAYS.

So, yeah...

Um.

Huh?
.
.
.
.
.
.

So anyway, I'm going to be a great mom. If I can remember to bring Prune Candy home from that place where you go to have babies.

Cold, dry, cat kibble to you and yours,
xo

Regale me with your tales of epic stupidity--mom brain or not. Make me feel better. Do it now. In the comments.

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