Snoozin' leads to losin'.
Four score and seven years ago, I ~cleverly~ made a New Year's resolution not to make any more New Year's resolutions. And for four score and seven years, I've kept that resolution.
#selfdiscipline
But there's been something in my life that gnaws at me and, with all apologies to the clever gal (me!) who made that clever resolution all those years ago, I think I'm going to use the New Year as a perfect time to tackle this problem.
What, pray tell, might my resolution be?
First, let's say what it won't be.
It won't be...
...to KonMari my life. I've read the book, and I'm very interested in doing it, but it's not going to be a resolution. I don't want to be held accountable for not getting rid of my Birch Box samples just yet.
...to cut out all sugar. Because, no.
...to be "more present" with my children. Because I'm all up in their faces, baby. Kisses on kisses on kisses. I love you's all the time. Stories. Snuggles. I got that on lock.
..."to eat right and exercise." SUPER SMUG ALERT: <smug>I'm already doing pretty well at that, so there's no need officially resolve to keep doing it. I'll just keep on with my exceptional work.</smug>
...to quit coffee. Because, why? I mean, really. WHY?
...to learn a foreign language. I already speak a foreign language. It's the garbled words that come out of my mouth when I'm tired because my brain processes slower than my mouth moves. And I'm always tired. So I'm basically bilingual right now. I speak English and Tired.
...to travel more! HAHAHAHAHA I have two children who are months shy of being 3 years old and 1 year old. And day care bills. And diapers. And limited income. Also, traveling with babies sounds like a nightmare.
...to conquer a fear!
Heights? Bad. ✔
Snakes? Bad. ✔
Talking in front of a group? Torture. ✔
I feel confident that they're all reasonable, healthy fears and I have no need to dispel of them.
...to say "no" more. I'm pretty good at not overburdening myself. I say no all the time, actually.
Example: Patrick normally cleans up the kitchen after dinner, but perhaps I should do it for him tonight? No, instead I'll fall asleep in my toddler's bed after reading her bedtime story.
See how good I am at that?
You probably have gotten the idea that I'm basically perfect. And you're nearly right!* I am super, super close to being as perfect as anyone but Jesus could be.* However, I do have that one flaw that, as I mentioned, has been bothering me more and more. And that flaw would be:
I cannot seem to get to church or work on time. Not for nothin'. Not for anything.
Weirdly, I am always a little early for appointments--doctor, dentist, hair cuts. But like Sisyphus and his boulder, I am constantly striving yet rarely actually achieving punctuality for work or church.
Obviously I don't need to resolve to learn Greek mythology. Or is Sisyphus Roman? After a Google search and intensive research that involved scanning the captions on the first page of search results, I'm here to say he's both Greek and Roman. Or something like that. MYTHOLOGY KNOWLEDGE ON FLEEK.
*Mic drop. Rebecca out.*
J/K, I'm still here. My intelligence is plainly shining forth, and I feel like yours is shining too, because you've figured out that my resolution is to START BEING PUNCTUAL.
Side note to my mother: If you're reading this, no comments from the peanut gallery. I know this is a herculean task I've assigned myself.
OH MY GOSH, I SAID "HERCULEAN." YOU MAY SEND MY HONORARY PHD IN MYTHOLOGY TO MY HOME ADDRESS, PLEASE.
Okay, okay. Calm down people. I know we all got excited about 2 references to mythology in one post. Let's focus on the topic at hand: my impending timeliness. It's one thing to say I'm going to work on not being late. Doing it is, as they say, a whole other kettle of fish. (Do they say that?) How then might I go about the kettle of fish part? The actual doing of the thing? I have a few ideas:
1) It starts with actually committing to the change. Right? An obvious, but important step. I have to be as committed to that as I am to my morning coffee and to letting Patrick clean up after dinner. That's the level of commitment I'm after.
2) Pinpoint my stumbling blocks.
- Not getting up early enough and/or going to bed too late ✔
- Not always packing my lunch the night before ✔
- Not planning my outfit the night before ✔
- Not always packing the girls' bags the night before ✔
- Not keeping my purse, lunch bag, eyeglasses, and keys in the same spot daily ✔
- Not wanting to get out of bed ✔✔✔✔✔
- Inherent laziness ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔
- Vicious abuse of the alarm clock's snooze button (data error: too many checks; cannot register)
Three things become clear. I have some obstacles that seem easily solvable, a few that require a bit more finesse, and I have recently rediscovered the check mark icon.
3) Come up with plan to overcome previously identified stumbling blocks.
- Vow to get to bed on time to get enough sleep (so easy!)
- Pack lunch, girls' bags, and pick out my clothes the night before (a breeze to implement!)
- Lessen snooze abuse (there will be no trouble changing this bad habit!)
- Use less check marks (well, if I must)
- Realize that perhaps sipping coffee on the couch in a foggy stupor while waiting for the local weather isn't the best use of time (no sweat!)
4) Identify how long it actually takes to get ready in the morning. Like, actually time it. I could be wrong, but perhaps realizing that my showers tend to take up 30 minutes of my morning and not the 15 I pretend they do might help me manage my time better. And yes, my showers last 30 minutes from the time I start gathering my items to getting my hair wrapped in a towel and my skin appropriately moisturized.
5) Actually leave on time. The assumption is steps 1-4 will aid greatly in making step 5 happen in real life and not just in my fantasies each and every day.
People who automatically know how to get their act together would probably think #5 is the only step needed. They don't know. They don't know, man. The struggle is so real with this. Wish me all of the luck, lots of coffee, and maybe send up a prayer for me. I'm going to need it.
Snoozin' leads to losin', to you and yours,
xo
As always, this [*] indicates a bald face lie. Or a bold face lie. Your preference.
#selfdiscipline
But there's been something in my life that gnaws at me and, with all apologies to the clever gal (me!) who made that clever resolution all those years ago, I think I'm going to use the New Year as a perfect time to tackle this problem.
What, pray tell, might my resolution be?
First, let's say what it won't be.
It won't be...
...to KonMari my life. I've read the book, and I'm very interested in doing it, but it's not going to be a resolution. I don't want to be held accountable for not getting rid of my Birch Box samples just yet.
...to cut out all sugar. Because, no.
...to be "more present" with my children. Because I'm all up in their faces, baby. Kisses on kisses on kisses. I love you's all the time. Stories. Snuggles. I got that on lock.
..."to eat right and exercise." SUPER SMUG ALERT: <smug>I'm already doing pretty well at that, so there's no need officially resolve to keep doing it. I'll just keep on with my exceptional work.</smug>
...to quit coffee. Because, why? I mean, really. WHY?
...to learn a foreign language. I already speak a foreign language. It's the garbled words that come out of my mouth when I'm tired because my brain processes slower than my mouth moves. And I'm always tired. So I'm basically bilingual right now. I speak English and Tired.
...to travel more! HAHAHAHAHA I have two children who are months shy of being 3 years old and 1 year old. And day care bills. And diapers. And limited income. Also, traveling with babies sounds like a nightmare.
...to conquer a fear!
Heights? Bad. ✔
Snakes? Bad. ✔
Talking in front of a group? Torture. ✔
I feel confident that they're all reasonable, healthy fears and I have no need to dispel of them.
...to say "no" more. I'm pretty good at not overburdening myself. I say no all the time, actually.
Example: Patrick normally cleans up the kitchen after dinner, but perhaps I should do it for him tonight? No, instead I'll fall asleep in my toddler's bed after reading her bedtime story.
See how good I am at that?
You probably have gotten the idea that I'm basically perfect. And you're nearly right!* I am super, super close to being as perfect as anyone but Jesus could be.* However, I do have that one flaw that, as I mentioned, has been bothering me more and more. And that flaw would be:
I cannot seem to get to church or work on time. Not for nothin'. Not for anything.
Weirdly, I am always a little early for appointments--doctor, dentist, hair cuts. But like Sisyphus and his boulder, I am constantly striving yet rarely actually achieving punctuality for work or church.
Obviously I don't need to resolve to learn Greek mythology. Or is Sisyphus Roman? After a Google search and intensive research that involved scanning the captions on the first page of search results, I'm here to say he's both Greek and Roman. Or something like that. MYTHOLOGY KNOWLEDGE ON FLEEK.
*Mic drop. Rebecca out.*
J/K, I'm still here. My intelligence is plainly shining forth, and I feel like yours is shining too, because you've figured out that my resolution is to START BEING PUNCTUAL.
Side note to my mother: If you're reading this, no comments from the peanut gallery. I know this is a herculean task I've assigned myself.
OH MY GOSH, I SAID "HERCULEAN." YOU MAY SEND MY HONORARY PHD IN MYTHOLOGY TO MY HOME ADDRESS, PLEASE.
Okay, okay. Calm down people. I know we all got excited about 2 references to mythology in one post. Let's focus on the topic at hand: my impending timeliness. It's one thing to say I'm going to work on not being late. Doing it is, as they say, a whole other kettle of fish. (Do they say that?) How then might I go about the kettle of fish part? The actual doing of the thing? I have a few ideas:
1) It starts with actually committing to the change. Right? An obvious, but important step. I have to be as committed to that as I am to my morning coffee and to letting Patrick clean up after dinner. That's the level of commitment I'm after.
2) Pinpoint my stumbling blocks.
- Not getting up early enough and/or going to bed too late ✔
- Not always packing my lunch the night before ✔
- Not planning my outfit the night before ✔
- Not always packing the girls' bags the night before ✔
- Not keeping my purse, lunch bag, eyeglasses, and keys in the same spot daily ✔
- Not wanting to get out of bed ✔✔✔✔✔
- Inherent laziness ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔
- Vicious abuse of the alarm clock's snooze button (data error: too many checks; cannot register)
Three things become clear. I have some obstacles that seem easily solvable, a few that require a bit more finesse, and I have recently rediscovered the check mark icon.
3) Come up with plan to overcome previously identified stumbling blocks.
- Vow to get to bed on time to get enough sleep (so easy!)
- Pack lunch, girls' bags, and pick out my clothes the night before (a breeze to implement!)
- Lessen snooze abuse (there will be no trouble changing this bad habit!)
- Use less check marks (well, if I must)
- Realize that perhaps sipping coffee on the couch in a foggy stupor while waiting for the local weather isn't the best use of time (no sweat!)
4) Identify how long it actually takes to get ready in the morning. Like, actually time it. I could be wrong, but perhaps realizing that my showers tend to take up 30 minutes of my morning and not the 15 I pretend they do might help me manage my time better. And yes, my showers last 30 minutes from the time I start gathering my items to getting my hair wrapped in a towel and my skin appropriately moisturized.
5) Actually leave on time. The assumption is steps 1-4 will aid greatly in making step 5 happen in real life and not just in my fantasies each and every day.
People who automatically know how to get their act together would probably think #5 is the only step needed. They don't know. They don't know, man. The struggle is so real with this. Wish me all of the luck, lots of coffee, and maybe send up a prayer for me. I'm going to need it.
Snoozin' leads to losin', to you and yours,
xo
As always, this [*] indicates a bald face lie. Or a bold face lie. Your preference.
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