An experiment with punctuality: the first week.

After my VIRAL* post about wanting to stop being late all. the. durn. time, I thought it would only be right to report how my first week went.

A few notes. 
1) It's not my fault that my first week was a 4 day work week. And I'm not sad about it, either.
2) Possible exaggerations follow.

Monday, January 2. 
Night Zero. 
Lunch made, with one minor Greek yogurt flying across the floor mishap.
My work bag packed.
Girls' bags packed.
Outfit picked out.
Alarm set for 5:45a and into bed just after 10p. So excited about how I'm going to get up and moving and actually be on time that I cannot fall asleep for nearly an hour. Excellent start.

Tuesday, January 3. 
Day 1.
The day starts a tad earlier than I would have liked.

3a Toddler lets herself out of her room and tries to crawl in our bed. Take her back to bed.
4a Toddler has bad dream. Cries and wakes us up, then settles herself back down. 
5a Toddler has another bad dream. Cries lots. I get up to go check on her. "Mommy, I have a runny nose," says the crying child. Wipe nose. Tuck in child. Go back to bed.
5:45a Alarm. Snooze button. Fall back asleep.
5:50a Alarm. Husband turns it off. Fall back asleep.
6a Wake with a start and remember I WILL NOT BE LATE TODAY. Remind myself that the worst part of getting out of bed is the first 60-120 seconds. Drag butt out of bed.

Proceed to start coffee, empty dryer, shift load of wet towels to dryer. Fold dry clothes while coffee is making. Once coffee is poured and administered, I get to work getting dressed and ready. The tiny humans are reasonably cooperative and, although I leave the house 5 minutes later than planned, it's still far superior to the usual 15-20 minutes later than planned. I manage to get green lights and somehow, miraculously, with joy in my heart, I made it to work 1 minute early.
This is amazing.
I am amazing.
I win at life and rejoice in having cured a lifetime problem in one night. I look forward to my life of punctuality.

Night 1.
Not only do I get my lunch packed, outfit picked out, and girls' bags ready. I, having learned that fried eggs can be saved and reheated surprisingly well, go ahead and MAKE MY BREAKFAST for tomorrow. This confirms that I have fully and completely tackled the problem and turned my life around.
Bed at 10:30p.

Wednesday, January 4. 
Day 2.
Crushed it. Made it to work 10 minutes early. Use the extra time to start planning my soon-to-be sold-out seminar, How to Lead a Life Like Mine: Making it to Work on Time. Also take a minute to consider who will play me in the movie when the success of this seminar catches Hollywood's attention. 

Night 2.
Cleaned kitchen, packed lunch AND breakfast (overnight oats for the win!), girls' bags ready, showered and hair blow dried, and in bed by 9:45. I like this.

Thursday, January 5. 
Day 3.
The toddler is less cooperative this morning and I take too long flat ironing my hair. (But it sure looks good!) Nevertheless, we leave less than 5 minutes later than planned. However, due to uncooperative toddler at home, I have to stop and take them time to put her hair in a ponytail at school and then pry the clinging child from my neck. Those few minutes had me coming in to work 2 minutes late. This has sent me down a shame spiral. I rip apart my seminar notes and practice self-flagellation, taking my cues from monks I've seen in movies. If I can repair this monstrous damage to my day, it will be a miracle.

Night 3.
Husband did part of kitchen clean up, and I finished, packed lunch and breakfast, got some laundry done, and had our bags packed and ready to go. Bed at 9:45 again. Was aiming for 9:00, but got distracted by fingerprints on the glass coffee table, and then needed to clean the dinner table, which lead to cleaning the other wooden furniture in the living room, which lead me back to the kitchen wiping down the front of all the appliances. Which lead to a quick cleaning of the toilet, sink, and mirror in my bathroom. It was a vicious cleaning spiral. 

Friday, January 6. 
Day 4.
My self-flagellation wounds having healed and my spirit renewed, I knew I would not fail as I did the previous day. And indeed I did not. It wasn't the roaring 10 minute early success of Wednesday, but I made it to work 3 minutes early. I found my seminar notes and meticulously taped them back together. Am planning to kick start my speaking tour in the Summer of 2018. (Advanced tickets can be purchased for the low, low price of $179. Make checks payable to me, mail them to my home address. They will be cashed immediately and no refunds will be issued for any reason whatsoever.)

Saturday, January 7.
Day 5. 
What? It's Saturday. I'm not going anywhere. 

Night 5.
Ah, church tomorrow. It will be the biggest challenge of the week.

Sunday, January
Day 6.
I began the morning with optimism and hope. Yet the attempt at timeliness was, frankly, a complete and utter failure. We left the house at 8:56. Church begins at 9:00. By the time we arrived, parked, walked in, and dropped the girls in the nursery, we were 20 minutes late and only just in time for the sermon. Yet I did not beat myself up. I was in church, and a big thing there is forgiveness. So I forgave myself (and silently blamed my husband--surely it was his fault anyway) and will try to improve next week.

Week 1 Recap.
Clearly, OBVIOUSLY, I am going to kick the butt of tardiness. In my first week I had a 75% success rate at work and a 100% failure rate at church. I will never relapse, and will never slide back in to a lifetime habit of living close to the edge when it comes to getting somewhere. Except church.

I'm just sitting here, waiting to moderate all of the congratulatory comments that will be rolling in. I look forward to your applause, wonder, and praise.

Only hitting snooze 3 times instead of 7 or 8, to you and yours,


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