Fun with austerity and restriction!

January can be a heck of a month, right?

Not only are we coming off of Christmas after January 6, which in an of itself can give people the blues, but we're also suddenly shunning bad habits. 

I've already told you about how I've decided to be Miss Punctuality (the lamest award in the beauty pageant). But that's not the only thing I'm putting myself through. 

For one, I'm doing a Dry January. Except it started on January 2, because we had two bottles of bubbly--one for New Year's Eve and one for New Year's Day. And except for the end of the month when my old man and I celebrate our wedding anniversary. EXCEPT FOR THAT, I'm doing a Dry January.

If you don't know, Dry January is not one is which I commit to dehydration or not watering my plants. Dry January is a month where you "dry out"--aka, no booze...except for when you decide it's worth the exception. It's done for any number of reasons. Mine are to cut back on calories, to "reset" for the New Year, and to save some dolla dolla bills, y'all.

Speaking of dolla dolla bills, that's the second thing I'm doing. Patrick and I spent a romantic New Year's Night sitting in front of our budget, discussing goals, priorities, and whether I should continue buying the Kerrygold butter or opt for a slightly less expensive organic--but not grassfed, the horror!--butter. Because this past holiday season we might have taken our budget, ripped it to tiny pieces, stuffed it into a civil war replica cannon, then blown it apart until it was nothing but confetti. Maybe.

So, after the aforementioned two bottles of bubbly (one was a gift!), and lobster and filet for dinner (it was on sale and we shared a filet!), we closed the door on that highfalutin food and drink (and all of our rationalizing!) and have committed to getting back on track with our budget. That means a month, possibly two, of really, really cutting back on spending of all kinds, and reevaluating what we do spend on. There's a strict grocery budget in place and there'll be no junk food, no alcohol, no impulse cookies from Trader Joe's or impulse candles from Target. There's no eating out. No fun jaunts off to hither and yon.

Again, except for our anniversary. Because the rules were made to be broken and we're some kind of rebels over here. And we budgeted for it. #romance

Saving calories, as I mentioned above, is yet another self-inflicted restriction I've put on myself. I already said I wasn't resolving to do that, because I have been eating my leafy greens and exercising. But I have also been eating ALL THE OTHER THINGS. The desserts. The dips. The Peppermint Joe Joe's from Trader Joe's. And the wine. I'm saying bye-bye to it for now.

All three of these things, Dry January, no junk, and being EXTRA tight with the pennies, are really all about getting back on track after a few months of excess. It's a hard reset back to factory settings. (The lamest of all the settings.)

Now, the really important question, the thing you're dying to know.

Why in the world am I telling you this?

For starters, it's my blog. I can write whatever I want. THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS. Also, because in my wine-free, treat-free, penny-pinching deluded state, I think maybe you'll join me in this endeavor. Or share with me what you're doing this month to reset from the holiday craziness. But most importantly--and this really is very important--it's so you know not to:

Invite me for a drink.
Invite me out to dinner.
Ask me to go anywhere.
Ask me to buy something.
Ask me if I want a brownie because I'll say yes, then no, then look at it longingly and say, "No, I'd better not." Then you'll ask if I'm sure, and I'll look sad, resigned to my fate, and say, "Yeah, I guess so," and then we will all feel awkward.

Actually, the brownie response fits pretty well with all invitations or questions. It's just going to get awkward if you do not heed my warning and ask me to DO THINGS. You are hereby warned that on the spectrum of Boring to Fun, I'm skewing hard to Boring this month.

But hey, I've actually been writing some junk! So maybe I'll write an impassioned post about passing up a delightful party or not buying queso dip during this month of austerity and restriction. If you're lucky.

Not doing any of the things, buying any of the things, or eating any of the things, to you and yours,


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