Oh, and you think I do?

Today I'm posting strictly to complain about something that bugs me. (Because complaining and being irritable are attractive qualities.) And it's this phrase, and all its variations:

 "I don't have time to be sick!"

 It's usually preceded by an outline of what specifically is wrong with the person uttering those eye-roll-inducing words. Sore throat? Headache? Gross bodily functions? Yes, that all stinks (some of it quite literally stinks).

 But here's my gripe. When does anyone ever have time to be sick? NEVER.

 Have you ever been kicking it, enjoying a relatively stress-free period of zen-like calm and thought to yourself, "Now would be a great time to be sick. I have loads of time." NOPE.

 Have you ever been on vacation and thought, "Ah, if I had to be sick, I have lots of time to do it right now! I'm taking it easy anyway!" NOPE.

 Have you ever thought to yourself that life is so hectic that you'd almost welcome a cold so you had to stay home and watch Wheel of Fortune and eat soup and crackers? NOPE... err, maybe. 

 But to the first two questions: NO. NO YOU HAVE NOT. NO ONE IN THE HISTORY OF EVER HAS.

 Yes, you're busy. I'm busy. We're all busy. And none of us have time to be sick. No one has scheduled a little block of time for next Thursday at 2:00p-Saturday at 9:30p with the note, "Be sick."

 Sure, Rebecca, I hear you saying, but you know what they mean. They mean... umm... it's not a good time to be sick... because, um, they're busy with things to do.

 Riiiiiiight. My argument stands. Because it's never a "good time" to be sick because being sick is never a good time.

 Next time you get sick, just trust that we know and the world knows that you know that it sucks. But don't act like you're so uniquely busy and important that you "don't have time!" to be sick. Because, what? you think I do?

 Harumph and grumpy-pants to you and yours,
xo

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