What I now know about having a bump.

Once upon a time, I ruminated on how awesome it would be to have a baby bump. Then I considered why it might not be quite so great having a baby bump.

Nearly halfway through a pregnancy, I can now speak to a few things that are great and not-so-great about it. Granted, I'm still not showing very much, but I'm sure the bigger my belly gets, the more I'll learn about the joys and miseries of hosting the cutest parasite I'll ever love.

Here's what I've learned so far.

On the positive side, I'm growing a human! Pretty mind-blowing when you really think about it. It's a blessing from God; all good things come from Him, after all.

On the flip side, I'm growing a human. Which means I'll have to give birth to a human.  (Not a pain-free experience, I hear. Thanks, Adam and Eve.) Then raise a human into a responsible, non-annoying person. No pressure.

But I feel great! I've had a very easy pregnancy so far!

Except when people pressure me to eat junk food, as if it's not actually worse for me to eat it now than it was before, when the only person affected by my junk food intake was me.

But society gives me a free pass to indulge a little!

Which results in indulging more than a little.

But people already love this kid! And they pat my little tummy to let me know that!

The kid is under my skin, my fat, my muscle, probably behind some organs, and inside a uterus AND behind a placenta, all tucked in there like a Russian nesting doll. They aren't touching the kid. They're touching my stomach, which pre-pregnancy would have been weird at best, and extremely uncomfortable at worst. So why is it okay now? (Hint: it's not, unless you ask and are told it's okay.)

Oh come on, not very many people pat my tummy!


Well, waiting to feel that first kick is so exciting!

Except my mother warns me that if this kid kicks anything like I did, I can expect a world of hurt in the coming months.

Oh come on, overall, it's a great thing. Except for the fact that my body is no longer my own, wine is now only consumed sacramentally every Sunday (and only one sip--but God's wine will only help this baby), and my abs twinge when I move certain ways... fine, yes, it's a great thing. It's something I wanted... because... um... well, for some reason beyond "because I wanna," I'm pretty sure reasonably sure not sure I could really tell ya. But yeah, I wanted it, so I do actually try not to complain too much.

Are you scoffing because this post has been a litany of complaints? True, true. But I complain here, instead of in the real world, because:
a) maybe it will be entertaining,
b) maybe even just one person will learn to ASK BEFORE YOU TOUCH A PREGNANT WOMAN'S STOMACH no matter how well you know her, and
c) it's my blog and I can do what I want. Nyah, nyah!

Happy Wednesday day, y'all.


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