Go shawty. It's my birthday.

But with all due respect to Mr. Cent, I will not sip Bacardi like it's my birthday. Yuck. I don't even like Bacardi.

What I would like to sip is a nice, cold Chardonnay. Or a Vodka Tonic (with lime). What I will sip is a glass of chilled water with lemon in it. That's going to be the kind of Boring Fun that this blogging empire of mine was founded on.

I'm 31 today. And I'm having a much easier time of it than when I turned 30. I didn't actually get all, "I'm crying in the corner of a darkened room, so please leave a message at the beep and I'll call you next week," when I turned 30, but I also didn't embrace it as, "Finally, out of my 20's and this is the decade I'll love the most, according to some article I read once!"

Mostly I was just, "Ew. 30. Not 29. Not 28. Not twenty-anything. T-H-I-R-T-Y."

The point is, I've accepted that my youth is behind me and I'll now enter a swift decline, so this birthday isn't quite the shock that my last birthday was.

You are likely DYING to ask: "Sooooo, Rebecca, whacha gonna do for your birthday?"

My husband said I can pick a dining establishment--any one that I want! (unless it's too expensive--end of the month and the budget gets tight, ya know)--and he shall take me there and have me fed. Naturally, being very fancy and health-conscious at all times, I decided on Momo's Pizza. If you have the opportunity to eat a slice as big as your head, you should take it!


Isn't it beautiful?
Then you want to know: "Fun! Anything else you're going to do?"


It's Tuesday, so not much. We'll probably follow pizza with dessert or a pile of fun-sized candy that my coworker so kindly got me for the anniversary of my trip around the sun.



Now you're getting kind of nosey, but I'll still allow this: "So, then, what did you get for your birthday?"

I love philosophy products, and Patrick bought me some of my favorites that are just pricey enough that I don't usually get them for myself. I told him this morning when I opened them up that I genuinely look forward to using them tonight. I may be getting older, but I intend to look younger as soon as tomorrow.

"What else did you get?"

Alright now, Mr. or Ms. Busybody. You're asking too many questions. But because it's my birthday, I'm feeling pretty generous and I'll answer. Besides candy and my beloved skin products, I haven't gotten anything else yet. I'll see my family this weekend and I'm pretty sure they have a car or a winning lotto ticket they want to give me.

Oh yeah, Patrick did get me something else. Impregnated.






Hi folks. This is a picture of me from last month. Good news: I've lost that little tail you can kind of see on the right. Bad news: I probably still look like an alien.

 


But I'll have to wait until March to open that package. Now you know why I will not sip on Bacardi (or wine or V&T) like it's my birthday. Fiddy failed to factor pregnancy into the lyrical poetry of his jams.

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