I'm back (for a hot second, anyway).
As you may have noticed (or more likely, haven't noticed) I've been a little M.I.A. lately.
Why? Lemme tell you something I don't know if you've ever heard before: getting ready to have your first kid is distracting as h-e-double-hockey-sticks. I mean, nothing super crazy has been going on, but I'm too busy looking up "signs of impending labor," watching birth videos, and doing prenatal yoga to do things like write Boring blog posts and try to be funny or even just a little Fun.
I've just realized that I've also been too busy to remember to put on deodorant this morning. Oops. A quick sniff test tells me I won't offend anyone today, so I'm going to say it's all good.
Since I've last given you one of those exhilarating glimpses into my life, here's what's been going on.
1) Childbirth classes. With videos. Detailed videos. You also learn about lots of disgusting terms: mucous plug, bloody show, lightening crotch, ring of fire. You also learn about your "bag of waters." It really is annoying that "waters" is plural. How many types of water do I have in there?
2) Prenatal yoga. I like the focus on breathing and relaxation, which mimics what we're learning in our childbirth classes to help us cope with labor, and the stretching feels heavenly. I feel like a goober saying "Namaste" at the end of class though. Apparently it means something like, "the divine light in me sees the divine light in you."
Oooo, darling! I see your light! It's just divine! JUST divine!
So, I won't become a yogi. And I'm not sure why I'd want to salute the moon or the sun. But it feels really nice.
3) Doctor appointments. I'm up to weekly appointments with my OB. Thankfully this means that I no longer have the appointments for my Beetus. I also had a second sonogram to check on the size of the baby. The result was "not too big, just slightly larger than average." Fingers crossed that these last weeks don't result in my giving birth to the Michelin Man.
4) Still stabbing myself. Speaking of Tha Beetus, despite not having to go to biweekly appointments, I'm still voluntarily drawing blood multiple times a day. And riddle me this: How, after a pasta dinner, does one get a blood sugar reading of 61 in one finger, and mere seconds later a reading of 90 from another finger? Can it be that only some of my fingers are diabetic?
5) Baby showers. My friends and family threw a very nice shower for me. There were thumbprint cookies. Oh, thumbprint cookies, how I love thee. Also, I got nice gifts. Then my office threw a lovely little shower for us as well. There were no thumbprint cookies, but there were cupcakes. Oh, cupcakes, how I love thee.
Oh, Beetus, why must you take from me the ones I love?
6) Taxes. Yep, we filed before the kid comes and we completely forget how to do math until we realize tax day has passed.
7) Fancy awards banquet. Patrick's office won several advertising awards, including one for one of his projects. We got all gussied up, and I wore heels (wedges, though) and lipstick and did my best not to bump into people and furniture with my belly. I stood around with beautiful, non-pregnant people. But having a belly means I still get lots of attention even without being the best looking one in the group. Score one for a fat baby belly!
8) Naps. As much as possible.
9) Other stuff. The usual: work (trying to get things tied up nicely just in case I'm out sooner than I expect), grocery shopping, church, having lunch and dinner with friends and family, hanging out in PJs with Lizzie the Cat and Patrick. Since not having a cut or highlights since December, I've finally scheduled one for Wednesday of this week. I'm happy to have the kid any time after that. Just so my hair looks good. I have priorities, man.
That's about all I can think of (lucky for you). I'm less than 2 weeks away from my due date, though only the Lord knows when this kid will actually decide to show up. I'll try to be funnier and a better blog person until then. Afterwards... well, don't expect much for a while!
Why? Lemme tell you something I don't know if you've ever heard before: getting ready to have your first kid is distracting as h-e-double-hockey-sticks. I mean, nothing super crazy has been going on, but I'm too busy looking up "signs of impending labor," watching birth videos, and doing prenatal yoga to do things like write Boring blog posts and try to be funny or even just a little Fun.
I've just realized that I've also been too busy to remember to put on deodorant this morning. Oops. A quick sniff test tells me I won't offend anyone today, so I'm going to say it's all good.
Since I've last given you one of those exhilarating glimpses into my life, here's what's been going on.
1) Childbirth classes. With videos. Detailed videos. You also learn about lots of disgusting terms: mucous plug, bloody show, lightening crotch, ring of fire. You also learn about your "bag of waters." It really is annoying that "waters" is plural. How many types of water do I have in there?
2) Prenatal yoga. I like the focus on breathing and relaxation, which mimics what we're learning in our childbirth classes to help us cope with labor, and the stretching feels heavenly. I feel like a goober saying "Namaste" at the end of class though. Apparently it means something like, "the divine light in me sees the divine light in you."
Oooo, darling! I see your light! It's just divine! JUST divine!
So, I won't become a yogi. And I'm not sure why I'd want to salute the moon or the sun. But it feels really nice.
3) Doctor appointments. I'm up to weekly appointments with my OB. Thankfully this means that I no longer have the appointments for my Beetus. I also had a second sonogram to check on the size of the baby. The result was "not too big, just slightly larger than average." Fingers crossed that these last weeks don't result in my giving birth to the Michelin Man.
4) Still stabbing myself. Speaking of Tha Beetus, despite not having to go to biweekly appointments, I'm still voluntarily drawing blood multiple times a day. And riddle me this: How, after a pasta dinner, does one get a blood sugar reading of 61 in one finger, and mere seconds later a reading of 90 from another finger? Can it be that only some of my fingers are diabetic?
5) Baby showers. My friends and family threw a very nice shower for me. There were thumbprint cookies. Oh, thumbprint cookies, how I love thee. Also, I got nice gifts. Then my office threw a lovely little shower for us as well. There were no thumbprint cookies, but there were cupcakes. Oh, cupcakes, how I love thee.
Oh, Beetus, why must you take from me the ones I love?
6) Taxes. Yep, we filed before the kid comes and we completely forget how to do math until we realize tax day has passed.
7) Fancy awards banquet. Patrick's office won several advertising awards, including one for one of his projects. We got all gussied up, and I wore heels (wedges, though) and lipstick and did my best not to bump into people and furniture with my belly. I stood around with beautiful, non-pregnant people. But having a belly means I still get lots of attention even without being the best looking one in the group. Score one for a fat baby belly!
8) Naps. As much as possible.
9) Other stuff. The usual: work (trying to get things tied up nicely just in case I'm out sooner than I expect), grocery shopping, church, having lunch and dinner with friends and family, hanging out in PJs with Lizzie the Cat and Patrick. Since not having a cut or highlights since December, I've finally scheduled one for Wednesday of this week. I'm happy to have the kid any time after that. Just so my hair looks good. I have priorities, man.
That's about all I can think of (lucky for you). I'm less than 2 weeks away from my due date, though only the Lord knows when this kid will actually decide to show up. I'll try to be funnier and a better blog person until then. Afterwards... well, don't expect much for a while!
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