Boring Can Be Fun

Listen. I'd like to put this delicately. I'd like to sound humble. But I can be real with you, right? Lately? I've been kicking butt at life. Domestic life, anyway. For the past few weeks, I've been SUCH a little Suzy Homemaker. I've been doing things like "cooking meals," "staying on top of the cleaning," and "doing laundry." During the week , even. Normal Life: I DO NOT DO THINGS AFTER WORK EXCEPT COOK (if I must), EAT, AND GO TO BED. Oh, and child care. I do that, too. And TV. But, New Domestic Success and Fun Good Times Life ?: I'M AWE-INSPIRING. Are you not, dear friends and random readers, sitting there at your internet-connected device thinking, "Wow, this blog should be renamed 'Boring is Unbelievable.' Does she mean to say?--does she actually think I believe?!--that she not only cooks food, but also cleans and does laundry? Pish posh!, I say. Pish posh and... and... poppycock!" I hear...

I humbly confess that I frequently misspell a number of words that I'm pretty sure I used to know how to spell. I'd at least wager that I managed to get many of my now poorly-constructed words spelled correctly on grade school spelling tests. (Or maybe not.) Spellcheck has ruined me. I don't even type as well as I used to. Why should I, when Outlook automatically corrects "hte" to "the" for me? On the one hand, I do appreciate not having to try. On the other hand, I'm now dumber. Hmmm. That said, there are some words that I DO still know how to spell. And because I know how to spell them, I assume the ENTIRE WORLD should also know how to spell them. By some curious happenstance, I can spell "miscellaneous" without a second thought. But I'll seriously have to remind myself that it's "surprise" instead of "surprize." (That's how it sounds !) You ever have those moments where your brain completely shu...

Grammar is defined, in part, as "the study of the classes of words, their inflections, and their functions and relations in the sentence," and "a system of rules that defines the grammatical structure of a language." It's something we're all supposed to have learned in school as youngsters. It's integral to my job today. (This law contains compound sentences that aren't separated by commas! Ack!) And yet, it seems that I know some (otherwise lovely) people who apparently skipped any class related to language usage from, oh, grades 3-11. Being from the South, I agree that there can be something charming about dropping your g's. Matter of fact, allow me to restate that sentence: Bein' from the South, I agree that there can be somethin' charmin' about droppin' your g's. (I hear that in my head as being spoken by Blanche De vereaux .) I have used, and will continue to use, the word "ain't". I sometimes "re...

'Tis election season (oh, the joy), and that means the campaign signs are being routinely stolen by the evil (whichever party you hate) from where they were placed on the sides of the roadways the good guys (whichever party you love). Putting aside how much sign stealing bothers me, the thing I enjoy (oh yes, enjoy ) about campaign signs is the flagrant misuse of quotation marks.  A single exa mple: A few weeks ago, my husband and I got an after-work adult beverage at a bar near our home. Across the street was a sign. Re-elect [candidate] "Sheriff" So, is he not actually the sheriff now? Are these like sarcastic air quotes? What is he if not a real sheriff, but a "sheriff"? For what it's worth, their name gives away a pretty solid clue as to their primary intended use. For marking quotations. As in, things other people have said. Not for emphasizing. Not for highlighting. For quoting. I don't want "real" ice cream. I want REAL ice...